Zombies and Paddleboards

Stefan Slater I could make it. That’s generally my first thought when I contemplate whether I could paddle from LA to Catalina. You’re probably thinking to yourself, Why are you even thinking about that in the first place? Don't you have anything better to do? Well, to answer your first question, I’ve been watching back-to-back […]

I could make it.

That’s generally my first thought when I contemplate whether I could paddle from LA to Catalina.

You’re probably thinking to yourself, Why are you even thinking about that in the first place? Don't you have anything better to do? Well, to answer your first question, I’ve been watching back-to-back episodes of "Doomsday Preppers" and I’ve decided that Catalina Island is the perfect place to escape—or “bug out,” my new favorite idiom— from the inevitable zombie apocalypse that will certainly strike LA within the next few years. I’ll skip trying to get a boat (since the marinas will probably be full of zombies… you're welcome), so commandeering a paddleboard is the only logical course of action.

Per your second question, I ask you this: Is there anything more important than preparing for the zombie apocalypse? Yeah, I think not. 

Anyway, moving on, I recently found out that’s there a contest that’s held every year for long-distance paddlers who race from Catalina Island to Manhattan Beach—it’s called the Catalina Classic. They paddle an incredible 32 miles (that’s roughly the distance from Sherman Oaks to Redondo Beach) on massive boards that are generally 12-to-19 feet in length, and they’re able to cover that vast expanse of open water in less than 4 hours.

So, when the undead finally rise and overrun the City of Angels, at least I know there’ll be few others that can help me restart civilization on Catalina—hopefully, they can just drag me behind them while we all paddle over, since I don’t think I’d be able to keep up at that blistering 7-knot pace.

Here’s a short article on the results of last year’s contest, and a short video showing the start of the race (note how early they start the race).

I haven't been able to find any details on the 2012 Catalina Classics, so if any of you have any info on when it'll be held, please let me know. And with that, I’m off to go prepare my “bug out” bag. See you in the water!

 

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